YSaC, Vol. 313: Then again, Fergie is probably a spawn of Satan as well.
I laughed so hard I peed.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Ads, Money and Even More heat
Well the married man and I are no longer. There was a simple rondavue. We talked. At first things were great. We got along well. Then his sense of failure as a husband was suddenly an issue. He didn't want to hold hands. He became distant and in the end, it came down to guilt on his part. I'm glad he made the right decision. I have no hard feelings. Plus he has a son close to my age. Don't worry, I already asked and No his son is not gay. There, I beat you to the punch.
Went on another date last Thursday. This one was exciting. He was sweet and very cute. We emailed back and forth for a while. Thursday I had the evening alone and I invited him over for some wine. He had to work Friday so just one bottle. Sad, I know. He was dressed like he worked somewhere that required him to dress like a fag. I was guessing Banana Republic but it turns out he's a case worker. I have to admit here, I am not good at first dates. I get nervous and I start to ramble. I talk about getting married and divorced in Spain or why I have never done adult films. You know, the things that make first dates awkward. He talked wryly about his job. His BMW. Here I will fully admit he did not spew off the normal crap about how great his car is. He just said he always wanted to have one and he works overtime.
I'm sitting there, feeling sorry that I have spent time in the slammer and do not really work that often when he tells me he has a 6 year old daughter. Super cute, right? I say wrong! It's baggage. It's unnatural for young people this day and age to procreate. You might say, well he's gay,is that what you mean? No. Lots of gay people have children. He's a young 26 year old gay man. I guess when he was 20 he was bisexual. I didn't care to ask. Hate me for dating married men with children then hating young men with 6 year old daughters. Hey...I saw this guy as long term material. The married guy, I wasn't so delusional so his children were mostly his baggage for me to never see. My mind has been working backwards lately.
In the end, it really didn't bother me. Its progressive in a way. He has his life together and I forget to feed my chihuahua. Deep down inside it's jealousy. The married man was great, because I can have what I want and feel good about myself for making others feel sinful and lustful and do sinful adulterous things. This guy, he's great. He's stable, his baby mamma and him are friends, great job, very good listener and funny. I hope he calls me. I got a great good night kiss and I promise to everyone reading this hear and now I was not drunk (we shared a bottle) when I kissed him good night. I got really drunk after he left. I swear. I doubt he'll call though. It's been 3 days and I'm most definitely not Gigi from "He's Just Not That Into You". I look at the cold hard facts. I smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish and have enough pharmaceuticals in me half the time I can start my own mexican pharmacy. But yet...I still have hope everybody. I think I do. It's been a long week. Wish me luck.
P.S. Sorry about the ads. It's a dog eat dog world out there and I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut (hopefully 2, because one always looks lopsided).
Went on another date last Thursday. This one was exciting. He was sweet and very cute. We emailed back and forth for a while. Thursday I had the evening alone and I invited him over for some wine. He had to work Friday so just one bottle. Sad, I know. He was dressed like he worked somewhere that required him to dress like a fag. I was guessing Banana Republic but it turns out he's a case worker. I have to admit here, I am not good at first dates. I get nervous and I start to ramble. I talk about getting married and divorced in Spain or why I have never done adult films. You know, the things that make first dates awkward. He talked wryly about his job. His BMW. Here I will fully admit he did not spew off the normal crap about how great his car is. He just said he always wanted to have one and he works overtime.
I'm sitting there, feeling sorry that I have spent time in the slammer and do not really work that often when he tells me he has a 6 year old daughter. Super cute, right? I say wrong! It's baggage. It's unnatural for young people this day and age to procreate. You might say, well he's gay,is that what you mean? No. Lots of gay people have children. He's a young 26 year old gay man. I guess when he was 20 he was bisexual. I didn't care to ask. Hate me for dating married men with children then hating young men with 6 year old daughters. Hey...I saw this guy as long term material. The married guy, I wasn't so delusional so his children were mostly his baggage for me to never see. My mind has been working backwards lately.
In the end, it really didn't bother me. Its progressive in a way. He has his life together and I forget to feed my chihuahua. Deep down inside it's jealousy. The married man was great, because I can have what I want and feel good about myself for making others feel sinful and lustful and do sinful adulterous things. This guy, he's great. He's stable, his baby mamma and him are friends, great job, very good listener and funny. I hope he calls me. I got a great good night kiss and I promise to everyone reading this hear and now I was not drunk (we shared a bottle) when I kissed him good night. I got really drunk after he left. I swear. I doubt he'll call though. It's been 3 days and I'm most definitely not Gigi from "He's Just Not That Into You". I look at the cold hard facts. I smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish and have enough pharmaceuticals in me half the time I can start my own mexican pharmacy. But yet...I still have hope everybody. I think I do. It's been a long week. Wish me luck.
P.S. Sorry about the ads. It's a dog eat dog world out there and I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut (hopefully 2, because one always looks lopsided).
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Cheating, Married Men and Why is it so Goddam hot in here
As many of you know, I'm a former slut. I'm inclined to be reticent on the subject o my falls off the wagon but reticent is not who I am. I slip and fall of the chastity wagon every so often. I'm human, so sue me. Please don't actually. Married men is the term of the day. Most of my blogs happen due to arguments with friends. Some don't have blogs in order to espouse their side, so screw them. They should get their own blog. Anyway, talking to Melissa the other day, I told her this fantastic and extremely hot story that really did happen to me.
I was walking through Wal-mart. Already you know this story is full of surprises and pitfalls. Nothing good ever comes from being at that corporate hell hole. I was shopping for lean cuisines. I admit, I am getting hefty. Not noticeably but yesterday my stomach popped out from under my shirt. Also my belt broke at Dairy Queen while I was ordering a Hunger Buster. I took that as a sign. Normally at wal-mart i just get in, get out and go home. It's very much a casual relationship we have. I noticed this attractive man though while I was checking out the Kashi cereals. I glanced his way, pretty innocently. Perhaps my gaze was too long, but I paid no mind. I figured he would just walk on and be on his merry way. Suddenly I realized, he was following me throughout the store. Like pretending to be shopping in the same aisle, creepy type of following. I admit here, even though he's attractive, he was wearing cowboy boots but I forgave him because he wore great jeans and a tight blue button shirt that told me...he didn't need lean cuisine. Plus when you're feeling fat at wal-mart and someone thin and attractive hits on you, it's very flattering. More than flattering, it's fucking great.
Time passed on. He passed by me a couple of times but didn't say anything. I tried my best to be coy, but coy is yet another thing I am not. I think I blushed at one point and made a slight moaning sound (it's been a while, trust me). So as I finally gave in to my impulses, I walked by the ice cream aisle. Standing there contemplating and fighting demons, he passed by and simply whispered "Can I have your number?". He then kept walking very slyly. My heart dropped. It was all very exciting, and I shall explain. This man, my friends, was walking around with his 11 year old son, and a wedding band. In order for him to talk to me, he sent his son off to get milk or some other grocery item. Disgusting, I know. But I explain why I wasn't. I'm not married.
I walked off, my brain becoming more impulsive and lean cuisine seeming less and less appetizing. I walked off into the wine and beer aisle. My cravings became more sinful and married. I asked him if he had a paper or if he had his cell. He asked me if I was discreet and I said yes. He was a bit nervous, although for a married man to follow around a guy with his son and then ask for his number takes a lot of balls. He called me as I walked off. Told me he would love to hang out with me. That he really liked me. Thought I was hot. He has 3 kids mind you. 21, 12 and 11. He's 39 years old. A very fit 39 years old. He worked and lived in my neighborhood and said he was worried someone may find out. As we chatted over dirty pretty things, I stood in the checkout lane. As he passed by he winked at me. I could have melted.
Later, we met in some slightly secluded neighborhood. Nowhere unsafe, mind you. I'm not about to end up on the 10 o'clock news. We talked, kissed, he told me about himself and why he liked me. He told me his wife thought he was out buying some beer. I told him that nobody cared what I was doing. And there we were, two strangers in the night. He eventually tried holding my hand. An adolescent display of affection but I liked it. I don't know where I'm going with this. We parted ways. He said he would call and I figured, he has more to lose from any further "engagements" we may have so I left the ball in his court. I even removed his number from my phone book and call record. If he wants to call me, he can. I'm willing to see him again. Say what you will about me, I'm a very open person and he's the one cheating. A friend of mine judged me a little harshly and all I have to say is, "What am I doing wrong?". Nothing. Deal with it. Yay me!
I was walking through Wal-mart. Already you know this story is full of surprises and pitfalls. Nothing good ever comes from being at that corporate hell hole. I was shopping for lean cuisines. I admit, I am getting hefty. Not noticeably but yesterday my stomach popped out from under my shirt. Also my belt broke at Dairy Queen while I was ordering a Hunger Buster. I took that as a sign. Normally at wal-mart i just get in, get out and go home. It's very much a casual relationship we have. I noticed this attractive man though while I was checking out the Kashi cereals. I glanced his way, pretty innocently. Perhaps my gaze was too long, but I paid no mind. I figured he would just walk on and be on his merry way. Suddenly I realized, he was following me throughout the store. Like pretending to be shopping in the same aisle, creepy type of following. I admit here, even though he's attractive, he was wearing cowboy boots but I forgave him because he wore great jeans and a tight blue button shirt that told me...he didn't need lean cuisine. Plus when you're feeling fat at wal-mart and someone thin and attractive hits on you, it's very flattering. More than flattering, it's fucking great.
Time passed on. He passed by me a couple of times but didn't say anything. I tried my best to be coy, but coy is yet another thing I am not. I think I blushed at one point and made a slight moaning sound (it's been a while, trust me). So as I finally gave in to my impulses, I walked by the ice cream aisle. Standing there contemplating and fighting demons, he passed by and simply whispered "Can I have your number?". He then kept walking very slyly. My heart dropped. It was all very exciting, and I shall explain. This man, my friends, was walking around with his 11 year old son, and a wedding band. In order for him to talk to me, he sent his son off to get milk or some other grocery item. Disgusting, I know. But I explain why I wasn't. I'm not married.
I walked off, my brain becoming more impulsive and lean cuisine seeming less and less appetizing. I walked off into the wine and beer aisle. My cravings became more sinful and married. I asked him if he had a paper or if he had his cell. He asked me if I was discreet and I said yes. He was a bit nervous, although for a married man to follow around a guy with his son and then ask for his number takes a lot of balls. He called me as I walked off. Told me he would love to hang out with me. That he really liked me. Thought I was hot. He has 3 kids mind you. 21, 12 and 11. He's 39 years old. A very fit 39 years old. He worked and lived in my neighborhood and said he was worried someone may find out. As we chatted over dirty pretty things, I stood in the checkout lane. As he passed by he winked at me. I could have melted.
Later, we met in some slightly secluded neighborhood. Nowhere unsafe, mind you. I'm not about to end up on the 10 o'clock news. We talked, kissed, he told me about himself and why he liked me. He told me his wife thought he was out buying some beer. I told him that nobody cared what I was doing. And there we were, two strangers in the night. He eventually tried holding my hand. An adolescent display of affection but I liked it. I don't know where I'm going with this. We parted ways. He said he would call and I figured, he has more to lose from any further "engagements" we may have so I left the ball in his court. I even removed his number from my phone book and call record. If he wants to call me, he can. I'm willing to see him again. Say what you will about me, I'm a very open person and he's the one cheating. A friend of mine judged me a little harshly and all I have to say is, "What am I doing wrong?". Nothing. Deal with it. Yay me!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Dick Cheney, Same-Sex Marriage and Gay Pride
Dick Cheney said recently that he believes all people are free to join whatever union they would like. Ann Althouse called him the "handmaiden for the left". Let's not forget here, Dick Cheney is no leftist. He is a right wing, dare I say it, nut. Watch the whole thing and you see, sure we can join a union or arrangement we like, but we do not deserve marriage. It's easy to forget history. Dick Cheney shot someone in the face. He also was behind many of George Bush's policies and here I believe that Dick Cheney showed his true colors. I do not go as far to say that he is a horrible man, but as Vice presidents go, he was most definitely a puppeteer. Any arrangement we like can be interpreted into many ways. I can go into a legal arrangement with my television that it'll turn on when I press the power button. Would it hold up in court? Probably not. He skirts the issue, as he did so well in his 8 years as vp. Gay daughter or not, he did not further our cause, but simply gave us a soundbyte. I saw the headline earlier, "Dick Cheney believes people are free to join any union they wish". It sounds great, but like most things Dick Cheney does it just sounds great. Yet again good ol' Dick lets me down. Story of my life.
On another note, Gay pride. It is the local gay pride fest this weekend. I for one, will not be joining. Call me jaded, call me bitter, call me Suzy but it just seems so useless. Stereotypes dancing on floats, mardi gras like celebrating and more men to show all the normal gay men that we do not belong. It's yet again, like being a teenage school girl for the rest of your life. Are you thin, beautiful and popular? Well if not please do not show up. So, maybe I'm not fat, ugly and a social pariah, but I'm not the other extreme either. Our nation was built on diversity but gay pride is yet another event that makes me feel like the fat girl at the prom. Sure I might have a good time, but why even bother to show up? Plus Dick Cheney never returns my calls. So I shall stay home from the ball and eat cheese and crackers with some wine. That's all the pride I need. Former slut...out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
