No computer...no blog

For the past 3 weeks I have been living without internet access. My laptop was sent off to some strange place in Illinois to get manhandled by another man and eventually fixed. Something about not having wireless, which in this day and age is outrageous. Well it is fixed now. Sort of. They wiped out my programs, etc. I had to reinstall everything from skype to an illegal program that helps me deauthorize DVD's. I'm just kidding about the dvd program. ehem. Anyway, I realized how much I need the internet. It was 3am, I'm watching stargate atlantis and I could not remember if I had seen a certain actor playing gay in a movie. It turns out it was Kavan Smith and the answer is no, meaning the delusion is in my head. Granted, I could go to the public library and use their internet, but the idea of reading my email with a bunch of transients seemed less favorable than just not using the internet. Things have been okay. Jessica will be leaving soon to the big D.C. where I'm sure she will hobknob with politicians and transients, perhaps even start her own political scandal. I abhor the idea of making new friends after she leaves. I was happy in my cocoon of Jessica. She's witty, smart, beautiful and most of all always ready for a great conversation. What will I do without her?
Perhaps, get a job...I know I know. It seems like something I should do even while she's here but with all that time on my hands, I'm willing to get a job at 7-11. Teaching has never panned out the way I wanted it too. I hate teaching. It's a loathsome and wretched profession. It is underpaid and overappreciated. I have my dog Ella, but she's a dog. I'm still finding somewhere in my cold heart to love her. I take her to the vet, care for her, feed her, things like that, but when I look into her brown chihuahua eyes, all I see is a dog. A dog that perhaps I would be devastated to be without, but unhappy with. I know, I'm heartless. I can't help it. She's always getting in trouble, never docile and always hyper and just right now I had to stop her from eating lint off the floor. That's probably why I hated teaching.It's like taking care of 20 Ella's. I signed up to be a substitute teacher next school year, but August 24th is just a few weeks away and already I feel the pangs of hatred for the job. Thankless and overpaid, which is somewhat appealing, until a kid calls you a "faggot" and throws his books at you. Welcome back to Hell, I think. I have been looking for a receptionist job but who the hell wants a male secretary/office clerk/receptionist. That's a woman's job (I live in an ignorant town). It's late and I'm tired from putting together my new dining room table. It's great. counter height. I feel like i'm on top of the world. Until some little fuck calls me a faggot and throws his book bag at me.